http://www.uglyfugly.com/page/Worst+College+Logos?t=anon

We don't even have a football team!

This is off topic, but I am epic bored. I am living without TV or internet, and I can't really go anywhere far because my GPS went crazy. If you are wondering how I am online now, it's because I'm leeching it from Lee's. I have been here for 2 hours. I think they're starting to think I'll never leave. Help!

...of beating around the Bush (pun intended).

Straight talk my ass. =|

Mine:


Omg, it's asexual! :O

Actually, it would have probably been male if I hadn't completely blown that image-rotation part. Orz

I am really, really sick of Michael Phelps. And it's all NBC's fault, because I used to like him quite a bit. He literally covers about 50% of  their "recap" or "preview" coverage (dropped to about 30% two days after he ran out of events to compete in). We all know how great he is, but PLEASE, we don't need to see that goddamn 100m fly finish 50 times every freaking day! What about the other swimmers?! Actually, now that I think about it, it's quite reasonable considering that until recently, he was responsible for more than half of the US's gold medals.

Considering how annoyingly popular he has become, there's one question that really has me pondering: When is he going to get his own energy drink? After all, this guy already has one, even though Michael has 9 more gold medals than he does:

 
Quite a confusing matter, but fear not: I have two excellent hypotheses.

First, he lacks marketability. He's missing a certain "cool" factor. Perhaps it's the goofy smile. Perhaps it's the crooked teeth. Or the awkward hairstyle. It's hard to explain, but can you honestly imagine him pulling off this sort of promotion and scoring the same amount of "coolness" points?


I rest my case.

Secondly, it's the name. You cannot create a clever brand name with "Michael Phelps." It's just not possible. The best (or only) I can come up with is probably PHELPS JUICE. What about his nicknames? Superman? Aquaman? I think not. It's truly tragic, because even though he packs sufficient awesomeness, he will probably never have the chance to realize his childhood dream of having his own brand of sports drinks, or reignite his rivalry with the Thorpedo. Not in the pool, but in the cooler of your local convenience store. Not because he fell short on his accomplishments, but only because his fans lacked the creativity to find him a a more marketable nickname. Tragic!

But of course, all this is purely subjective. So I'll leave you with a question:

Which one would you rather buy: Thorpedo or PHELPS JUICE?

I just watched the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics, and boy was it confusing. Perhaps the visual symbolism overload was so massive that not even my finely-honed Humcore senses could stand a chance, or perhaps I just don't know shit about Chinese history. Quite pathetic, considering that even the American commentators had more of a clue of what was going on than I did. Then again, they probably had easy access to Wikipedia (provided that the Chinese government didn't censor it). During one segment (pictured below), Daddy and I had an interesting conversation.

Daddy: What are those wavy floating block things?
Me: Wodden stamps? Oh, wait, no...it's Mahjong!
Daddy: Oh, it IS Mahjong!
Me: But why are there so many tiles?
Daddy: I don't think it's Mahjong then.
Me: OMG, it's the movable type!
Daddy: Oh, like, for printing?
Me: Wtf!? Why is the movable type growing flowers!?
Daddy: Yeah, that's weird!
Mommy: SHUT UP and listen to the Americans!

Anyway...overall, I thought the ceremony was very uh, pretty (human perfect circle for the win!). Goes to show, China is no longer just Wal-Mart's cash cow! But if I had to name a single criticism, it'd probably be the absolutely atrocious uniforms the Chinese athletes wore during the parade of nations. Red and yellow suits with white pants?! WTF? I understand those are flag colors, but look at how Spain pulled it off, with matching-color tops and bottoms, contrasting lines, and funky little hats! China could have at least gone with suits with a darker shade of red and some gold accents like buttons and buckles, instead of that bright-red, blindingly-deep yellow mess.

My mom made a snarky little comment comparing the uniforms en masse to a plate of my most hated dish in the world, fried eggs and tomatoes. So, basically, it's like:

Ok, I'm not gonna lie - I really hate driving. I think it has something to do with my extreme self-consciousness of doing something I totally suck at. I seriously can't understand why some people would -for no reason- just hop in their cars late at night and drive around aimlessly as a way of relieving stress. If I took their advice I'd probably grow a couple of wrinkles, get lost, and possibly die. I hate going to faraway places, and if my destination is within a 1-mile radius of my home, I'd probably just walk it, and convince myself it's for the sake of getting exercise to make myself feel better. The stupid thing is, I'm actually not half-bad. I'm not one of those kids who flunked their driving test three times. Heck, I never even flunked. I can back up, turn, lane change, park, drive straight on interstate 5 with my eyes closed, etc. So why am I so shitastic at it?

I can never remember when to turn. Every block looks the same to me. I'm not sure if it's just Cupertino (or just me) but every freaking intersection looks the same. Today, on the way to the post office I almost pulled onto the freeway because I couldn't tell the difference between a tree and the Monta Vista Inn. And on the way back I missed a turn and had to make a big loop back because I couldn't remember if I had to turn at the intersection with the Panda Express or the Pizza Hut on the corner. I don't know why I'm so terrible at remembering directions. If I can cram a whole quarter's worth of material in 5-6 hours prior to a college-level economics final and still do pretty damn decently, why can't I remember the way to the post office, even though I go there practically every week?! It's infuriating!

Anyway, my parents have acknowledged how painfully terrible I am, so I'm getting a GPS next week. And since I'm also blind, I'll probably get a voice-guiding one, like the Garmin nuvi 660:


I wonder if I could program it to yell "You suck!" every time I make a wrong turn...

 
So how did YOU fare? ;D

I'm bored and feel the urge to blog, so here's another completely random (but amusingly informative!) entry for you guys. Ok, not so completely random. I'm borrowing the idea from dear wendieee. And facebook.

So, how well do you know me, exactly? If this quiz is any indicator, then you most probably don't know shit, regardless of how long you've known me. And that's done on purpose. These questions are supposed to be impossibly difficult. So difficult that the measure of your success is not your knowledge, but rather your ability to make educated guesses, to pinpoint the most sensible answer in a pool of seemingly senseless options. Much like my last two quarters of statistics. I'm just evil like that. Enjoy. 


So you think you know me?

1. My blood type is:
     A. O
     B. AB
     C. A or B (the types)
     D. Bombay!
     E. I, myself, have no freakin' clue. 

2. My Myers-Briggs personality type is:
     A. INTP
     B. INFP
     C. ISTJ
     D. ISFP
     E. L-E-E-T!

3. My guilty pleasure is:
     A. Dragon Tales
     B. Forensic Files
     C. Hannah Montana
     D. The Hills
     E. Meet the Press

4. The world is on the brink of nuclear destruction. I built some sort of indestructible ark and pull a Noah. However, I miscalculated and can only fit one more animal onto the ark. The one I would save is:
     A. Penguin
     B. Panda
     C. Frog
     D. Sheep
     E. Bunny

5. Suppose I could marry 1 of 5 men. Judging by profession alone, I would rank them in this order (from highest to lowest):
     I. Lawyer
     II. Architect
     III. Doctor
     IV. Artist
     V. Movie star
    
     A. III, V, I, IV, II
     B. II, I, III, V, IV
     C. V, III, I II, IV
     D. I, III, IV, II, V
     E. Single 4 lyfe!

6. All of the following happened to me in elementary school except:
     A. Threw up in class
     B. Got chocolates from an unknown sender on Valentine's Day
     C. Unknowingly showed the cafeteria lady the middle finger
     D. Accidently walked into the boys' bathroom
     E. All of the above occured, believe it or not

7. All of the following happened to me in middle school except:
     A. Skipped a grade in math
     B. Killed a bee with my forehead
     C. Hacked into someone's email account
     D. Abused my powers as office attendant by conducting, um, personal research.
     E. All of the above occured, seriously

8. All of the following happened to me in high school except:
     A. Practiced witchcraft, sort of
     B. Shot someone down in public
     C. Ran over a squirrel with my car
     D. Ditched senior prom
     E. All of the above occured, my life is just messed up like that
  
9. All of the following happened to me in college except:
     A. Freshman (negative) 15
     B. Flunked a class on purpose so I could retake it for a better grade
     C. Pulled two all-nighters in a row
     D. Got drunk
     E. All of the above occured, *sigh* 

10. The first thing I notice about men is their:
     A. Hair
     B. Face/smile
     C. Physique
     D. Clothes
     E. ...unmentionables

11. I believe in all of the following except:
     A. Ghosts
     B. Extraterrestrials
     C. Demons
     D. Karma
     E. The world is gonna blow up on 12/21/2012!

12. I party like a rock star/Look like a movie star/Play like an all-star/Fuck like a porn star/Baby I'm a _____
     A. Superstar!
     B. Whore.
     C. Idiot.
     D. Nerd.
     E. You listen to rap?!

13. My favorite sport to watch is:
     A. Football
     B. Basketball
     C. Wii Sports
     D. Gymnastics
     E. American Gladiators!

14. My "type" is:
     A. The Nerd
     B. The Jock
     C. The Bad Boy
     D. The Sensitive Poet
     E. An unholy hybrid of two of the above (bonus if you guess which two).

15. This quiz is:
     A. Impossibly hard!
     B. A waste of time.
     C. Kinda interesting, actually!
     D. You are so messed up.
     E. All of the above! 

Answers will be posted in a few days.

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Intelligence - 85.7% 2. Financial Situation - 76.9% 3. Open-Mindedness - 63.6% 4. Sense of Humor - 57.1% 5. Appearance - 50%	1. Shyness - 75% 2. Vanity - 66.7% 3. Selfishness - 54.5% 4. Insecurity - 53.8% 5. Pessimism - 50%

Dating Strengths Explained
Intelligence - Your sharp intellect is a valuable asset. Use your intelligence wisely; avoid condescension. Quiet, confident intelligence is very attractive. Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid guys who are only interested in your money. Open-Mindedness - You are open to trying new things and entertaining new ideas, and this widens your pool of available guys. Sense of Humor - Guys are attracted to people with a good sense of humor. Be sure to put yours on display! Appearance - Despite what some will say, appearance matters in dating. You get high marks on appearance. Just make sure you balance it out with other qualities.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Shyness - You know all too well the limits shyness places on you. Putting yourself out there in social situations may be difficult, but essential to your dating success. Vanity - Learn to put a lower priority on looks. Appearance is, of course, important, but vanity is undesireable. The only people you will attract are the superficial. Selfishness - You think too much of yourself and your needs. You must learn to put your partner first and tend to his needs. Insecurity - Your insecurity makes you doubt yourself, but you must learn to love and trust yourself if you want to succeed in dating. Pessimism - Too much cynicism can be a turn-off. Try to see the brighter side of things and people will be attracted to your positive outlook.
Take the Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz

What happened to indecisiveness, bad luck, and poor taste?!

On a completely unrelated note, I discovered my REAL fake name today. It's MAO. Shocking! I shall post the evidence later.

While I was looking through some pictures I took this weekend at Moneterey Bay, I found some old pictures of my shitty "artwork" and projects from middle/high school. I have nothing else interesting to post, so enjoy. For now.

The pictures are kinda big so I decided to do a lj-cut. 


And of course, stuff I wanna make this summer:
- Another big big painting. Just to see if I can still paint. Not sure of the subject though. Any suggestions?? :D
- MOAR pillows!
- A poring plushie. No, I'm not playing Rag. But I've wanted to make one of these guys for a long, long time. Ever since I found the pattern. So cute!